Funny how I have been a Christian for nearly four-fifths of my life, and yet sometimes I am hit with the simplest of all ideas about my faith.
As I have written on here before, I substitute now, and it is usually no picnic. I consider myself to normally have very good classroom control, but when you are in a room full of adolescents who know that you're not 100% sure of what you're doing (even though you're acting your darnest, and can usually fool them!), it gets a little exasperating day after day. The boredom, the not knowing anyone's name, etc.
And so usually, I offer up tiny little snippets of prayer throughout the day. "Oh Lord, let me get through this. Let me have a good day. Please! "
On Monday morning, it dawned on me.....um, hi! Praying for myself all this time? What is wrong with me?!
On Monday, I prayed this: "Lord, please let me just bless at least one child today. Amen."
The day becomes an adventure. How many kids can I smile at? How many can I be extra-kind to? How many can I offer a compassionate word to?
It wasn't that I didn't do all of those things already. In fact, I think most teachers do, too. After all, you don't go into teaching because you hate children. It's just that they weren't intentional. I know what you're thinking: "Isn't intentional worse? Doesn't that mean that somehow you're faking?"
No. It means that rather than "be myself" and pray that I have a "good" day, the Lord and I are going to make a good day, rather than having the good day make me.
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1 comment:
I needed that. It is so easy for me to get cynical working with the population i work with and I always end up praying that i just can get through it. These women don't need that attitude they've been treated like that all of their lives I have the potential to make a huge impact and i never make the most of it...
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